In May of 2006, with my arms hurting so badly that I couldn’t pick up my coffee cup much less stroke 250 words per minute on my steno machine, I had to walk away from my 25-year career as a court reporter. It was every reporter’s worst nightmare. Throughout my reporting career, somehow or other I still managed to teach Sunday school and lead children’s services on weekends. That connection to God and dedication to bringing people closer to Our Creator is where I really wanted to be even before I became a court reporter, but just couldn’t figure out how to accomplish, in light of my financial obligations.
Having been raised in a shack in the desert with only second-hand clothes and shoes, returning to hard times wasn’t something I really wanted to do, but after losing my ability to report and struggling from one job to the next to just get by for 6 years, I realized that if I didn’t do what I had to in order to make working for God my full-time occupation, my soul would just wither away and die; so in July of 2012, that’s exactly what I did.
It’s been crazy juggling two part-time jobs, one unpaid internship, and one very intense chaplaincy program striving to make my dream a reality, especially at my age. Every day before I walk out the door, I have to be sure I have the right bag(s), depending on which job(s) I plan to undertake. Sundays and Tuesdays require two bags (both my teaching and chaplaincy bags), Saturdays it’s my lay leader bag, and all the other days of the week it’s my chaplaincy tote.
Every night I come home thoroughly exhausted, but it’s a wonderful exhaustion. Perhaps that stems from knowing that in the work I’m doing, I’m working with God to bring spiritual comfort to the people with whom I visit; perhaps it’s because I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted to before I die. Whatever it is that’s lifting me up as I work so hard every day, all I can do is be grateful.
God knew what He/She was doing by taking away my ability to court report. So it is with great remorse and regret that I apologize to You, God, My Creator, Father, and Guide, for all those days when I yelled at You for the 7 surgeries I underwent between 2006 and 2008. Please accept my apology, and let me just say Thank You. You knew what it would take for me to move on.
My beloved mother used to always say, “Sometimes we need to take several steps backwards in order to move forward.” Thank You, Dear Lord, for pushing me to take those steps backwards so that I would then have the courage to once again move forward. I am forever in Your debt.