In order to keep on living
I had to let go.
It was, and continues to be
The single most painful decision of my life.
I knew 9 and-a-half years ago
That one day it would have to come,
Because that is when I discovered the truth:
That my spouse did not love me.
I knew it would hurt;
So I hung on as long as I could.
But now my children are hurting
They don’t understand why I had to leave
And they are having difficulty forgiving me
For trying to save my soul
From the pain of trying to keep
Who was pretending to love me.
I will forever love them.
I will forever miss them.
I pray that one day
They will forgive me
For wanting to live
In a non-painful state of being,
And let me back into their lives,
For they are my only diamonds,
My only jewels,
The single-most important thing in my life
Other than life itself.
This I pray
May God hear my prayer.