When We Lose a Child

Bee pollenating flower in butterfly garden

The hole in our soul when we lose a child

Is indescribable in words . . . it’s just feelings stockpiled.

All we know is there’s a cavern there

Where once was joy and gladness — so we blankly stare

Wondering if that cavern will ever be filled

With anything but sadness so heavily distilled.

So we walk through our days trying to eat,

Trying to breathe, trying to complete

One little task after the other

Trying to not feel so lost and alone — so grief-smothered.

So we walk and we breathe through our daily haze

Until one day we wake up and somehow walk through our self-pity maze

And when that day comes, we don’t know how or why it happened

We just recognize we can’t keep living life so terribly saddened.

Why they left us, we may one day comprehend

Till then, we just work on healing and try not to understand

Because now we need to focus not on the loss, but the gain

For their time with us was the blessing, and that becomes our focus, our aim

Not the darkness, the loss, the sadness or tears

Not the things that will never happen in the coming years

But rather the things we did get to share

For if when loving memories becomes our focus, we need never compare

What others have in their children still living, thus we need never let jealousy flare

For what our lost children gave us will live forever in our memory’s home

And that is their eternal gift to us as through this earthly journey we roam

For those blessings live on and fill our soul up each day

When that time comes our gratitude for their blessing helps us exclaim:

We’re grateful for having had them for as long as we did,

So we’ll take what we got and keep it living in our heart as long as we live.

We recognize that not having had them would have been more horrible than losing them

So we focus the gratitude on what we got, and then

That helps us push the gray clouds away,

And ultimately we remember how they loved us in their very own special way

When they were babies, teens and adults,

They loved us and we loved them back, that love is ours forever heart-felt.

And there we discover where our blessed healing lies

We just need to hold onto it and focus our tear-stained, pinkened eyes

On the gifts that their love gave us when they were with us here

So that deep, dark cavern will fill up with blessed love — and the clouds somehow clear.

But till that day comes, my prayers are walking with you

Praying your memories of blessedness will help you muddle through.

Chaplain Tamar/Coach Tammy



About Gelbart-Jaffe Coaching

Hospice Chaplain and Life Coach Associate Clinical Chaplaincy Certification February 2015. Proficient Life Coach Certification December 2010.
This entry was posted in a godsend, a life well-lived, a loving dream, accomplish, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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